I Done Killed That Dove....

I have never cut dovetails before. Now, I've been watching all those youtube videos where people hand cut dovetails in under three minutes, while talking to everyone, making witty remarks, and ending up with perfectly tight dovetails. What you are about to see took longer than three minutes, I wasn't talking to anyone, there was no wit whatsoever, and my dovetail is missing a few feathers.  

I started with some scrap Poplar, and simply cut the board in half (using my fancy new bench hook).  Then I marked one side of each board with the other board.  

I then started to draw out my dovetail lines.  I quickly realized that I have no idea how to lay out dovetail lines, I did, however know enough to know that I was doing it wrong.  So I did what anyone would do...looked at dovetails made by a competent craftsman, in this case, my dad.  

Now that I could see what it should look like, I marked my boards accordingly.  

That looks better.  Now...To the vise!  Once I get it in the vise all nice and cozy, I get out my magnificent Lie-Nielsen dovetail saw (it was my dad's) and start cutting to the line.  

As is turns out, I really, really suck at sawing.  I tried to follow the lines, but really had to focus on now holding the saw too tight.  It was hard, and it didn't turn out well.  But I persevered!  Next I hacked out the waste with a chisel.  I figured I would use a chisel for the tails and a coping saw for the pins, just to try each method.  

Next, I used a marking knife to transfer the lines to the pin board, got it in the vise, and started sawing before I took the time to think about what side of the line I should be cutting, and getting mixed up on what was waste and what was pin.  I stopped, figured it out, and then marked it.  

When all the pins were cut, I got out my ultra fancy coping saw from Lowes.  This falls into the "tool shaped object" category.  This is what happened:  

Yup, the handle came right off the frame, which housed the blade that won't turn correctly, cut well, or stay tight.  I decided to store this saw in my trash can from now on.  Back to the chisels.  


Once all the waste was removed, I tried to fit them together, and quickly realized that I really screwed this up.  They weren't even close.  

I used my chisels to fit them as best as I could, and finally got them started.  

Then used my monster wooden mallet to gently persuade them to come together.  Once they were together tight, I stopped to look at my world-class craftsmanship...

It is difficult to describe just how terrible this joint is.  It is pretty clear to me that I need to spend a lot more time on the saw to learn how track straight.  I am going to keep this joint, though.  In the seemingly unlikely event that I ever figure out how to cut a decent dovetail, I think I would like to revisit my first attempt, have a good laugh at myself, then eat a dove sandwich, because we all know I butchered this one.